Two Months Old!

Yeah, so this post is a bit late, but Holly is fast asleep in her swing, S is at soccer and the dogs are sleeping, so I actually have time to post.

This is my fav!




And now for the comparison- does Holly look older? Compare her one month pic with her 2 month old pic...




At least her face has finally cleared up- hair isn't looking much better though!

To celebrate Father's Day today we're going with my parents, sister and cousin, who's in town doing SAT prep with my mom, to a late lunch/early dinner- taking Holly with us... this should be an experience. At least there are plenty of us to walk around with her in case the fussies start up.

It has taken Holly 2 months to finally take a pacifier. She finally sucked on the one we brought home from the hospital for more than a second yesterday and I've been sticking it in her mouth every chance I get. Does that make me a horrible mom? Up until this point the moment she got fussy I had to pick her up and walk her around or bounce her on my shoulder. Now I can just stick the pacifier in and actually use both hands to do things now- like type... this could be bad :(

Back to work ...

for 3 days that is. I went into school earlier this week for the end of year meetings while my mom watched Holly. I have to admit it felt really good to be out of the house and around adults. I actually looked forward to going in on Sunday night. It makes me think that I don't in fact want to be a stay at home mom- does it make me a bad mother that I enjoyed the time away from her? The only problem with working is that when I get home I just want to veg and that's just not possible with her :(

It's been so hard being trapped in this house with Holly and not feeling like I can go anywhere with her. She's eating about every 3 hours and I try to get her to nap for about 2 otherwise she gets really over tired and then nights are horrible. So with a schedule like that it means we really don't have time to do anything. She has decided that sleeping in her car seat is not that fun anymore, so taking her for walks in the stroller doesn't knock her out like it used to. It's also too hot and humid to walk around with her strapped to my chest using the ergo, so we're kind of stuck.

Holly loves to smile now and makes eye contact all the time. In fact I have to pretend I'm asleep when I'm holding her and trying to get her to get drowsy otherwise she just stares at me the whole time. Nights have been pretty good. She's been going down around 9:30 and sleeping until 4- except last night she woke up around 1:30 to eat but I think that's because her eating/nap schedule got messed up yesterday b/c she missed her afternoon nap when I went to pick her up at my mom's. So hopefully she will be back on schedule today.

4, 5, 6, 2 and 7!

What do these numbers mean?

The largest number of consecutive hours of sleep I've had in the past 5 nights. Things were going so well and then all of a sudden on Sat night Holly was up every 2 hours- I felt like she was a newborn all over again. Then last night she was in bed from 11-6- it was heaven! She also seems to be really happy today so I'm thinking that the more sleep she gets, the happier she is too! Now if there were some way to make sure she gets at least 6 hrs of sleep every night things would be great.

I've finally started to get smiles from her. Although she seems to save her biggest smiles for when she looks away from me. But I'll take what I can get at this point. I took some video of her playing on her mat this morning. She was kicking and squeaking. I'll try and post it once I figure out how to do it!

Stress

Daycare is seriously stressing me out... We thought we had everything set with a woman in our neighborhood. I called her references and they had great things to say about her. So we signed a contract with her and gave her $ for September. She is even letting us bring Holly part time and we get the summers off, but can keep our spot for September. Then my mom did some asking around at her school (the daycare woman's daughter went to high school where my parents teach) and it turns out none of the teachers she spoke to had anything positive to say about this woman- in fact they said they would not recommend her AT ALL. Plus another new mom in our neighborhood had some negative experiences with this woman and decided not to use her. So I don't know what to do... the parents of the kids she currently has say she's great, but these teachers who knew her a number of years ago said they have serious concerns- plus the other mom had a not great experience with her. How can I send Holly to someone I don't trust 100%. I just want to quit my job and stay home with Holly - it would make things so much easier and better. I just don't know what to do. We're on some waitlists, but there's no guarantee that we'll get off of them before September. I've been checking into some other places that do have openings for September, but they don't do part time- which means we'd be paying essentially another rent payment every month- which we could do, it would just mean we would have to seriously cut back in other areas. Why is finding daycare so difficult? I'm moving to Canada or Europe where they actually encourage mom's to stay home with their children.

I hate to be dealing with this and stressing about this when I should just be enjoying spending time with Holly :(

In Holly news, her smiles are getting more regular and more controlled, but she has yet to smile while making eye contact. She'll look at me, then look away and then smile. So hopefully Holly will start smiling directly at me soon. Although for now her look away smiles are pretty damn cute. She's also sleeping better at night. 3-4.5 hour stretches at a time, but I still wake up exhausted. Not sure how that's possible.

1 month picture

Pics

Pictures of S and Holly from mother's day... notice that I am not in any of the pics. I think I need to get someone to take pictures of me with Holly! Oh yeah, and Holly is one month old today! Please tell me that the first month is the hardest and it gets easier ;)