Stress

Daycare is seriously stressing me out... We thought we had everything set with a woman in our neighborhood. I called her references and they had great things to say about her. So we signed a contract with her and gave her $ for September. She is even letting us bring Holly part time and we get the summers off, but can keep our spot for September. Then my mom did some asking around at her school (the daycare woman's daughter went to high school where my parents teach) and it turns out none of the teachers she spoke to had anything positive to say about this woman- in fact they said they would not recommend her AT ALL. Plus another new mom in our neighborhood had some negative experiences with this woman and decided not to use her. So I don't know what to do... the parents of the kids she currently has say she's great, but these teachers who knew her a number of years ago said they have serious concerns- plus the other mom had a not great experience with her. How can I send Holly to someone I don't trust 100%. I just want to quit my job and stay home with Holly - it would make things so much easier and better. I just don't know what to do. We're on some waitlists, but there's no guarantee that we'll get off of them before September. I've been checking into some other places that do have openings for September, but they don't do part time- which means we'd be paying essentially another rent payment every month- which we could do, it would just mean we would have to seriously cut back in other areas. Why is finding daycare so difficult? I'm moving to Canada or Europe where they actually encourage mom's to stay home with their children.

I hate to be dealing with this and stressing about this when I should just be enjoying spending time with Holly :(

In Holly news, her smiles are getting more regular and more controlled, but she has yet to smile while making eye contact. She'll look at me, then look away and then smile. So hopefully Holly will start smiling directly at me soon. Although for now her look away smiles are pretty damn cute. She's also sleeping better at night. 3-4.5 hour stretches at a time, but I still wake up exhausted. Not sure how that's possible.