Welcome to the world little one!

I'm not pregnant anymore- yippee! Having no belly again is really really weird, as is having a baby ;)

Birth story- just in case you want to know how the c/s went... it's really long.

We went into the hospital at 3 on Tuesday for the scheduled c/s (she was breech and I had late onset IUGR). I think I was sort of in shock all day Tuesday - it was hard to wrap my head around the idea that at an exact time we would have a baby. The nurses in l&d were great - so supportive and helpful. I got hooked up to the fetal monitor and had an iv placed when I arrived. So S and I were in l&d for about an hour and a half doing prep for the c/s- getting me hydrated etc. They wheeled me into the OR around 5. The anesthesiologist was awesome- she talked to me the whole time she was putting the epidural in and yeah, it was not the most comfortable experience, but it wasn't painful. She and the nurses kept my mind off what was happening even though they still informed me of what they were doing. Once the epi was in I was strapped down on the table and they brought S into the room. The epi worked really quickly and before I knew it they had started. The anesthesiologist stayed by my head and she and S sort of gave me a play by play during the operation.

I was so worried that the epi wouldn't work and I would feel the incision- of course that didn't happen! The only thing I felt during the entire thing was when the 2nd dr in the room had to "jump" on me to push the baby down to the incision- that was the worst part of the actual operation b/c I could feel that. It didn't necessarily hurt, it was just really, really uncomfortable. The best part was when they finally pulled her out and I heard her crying. It was so surreal- hearing that cry for the first time! Of course I started crying once I heard her crying- that was what made it real. So Holly Emma was born on Tuesday and weighed 6lbs 14 oz- she's such a tiny thing! She also had the cord wrapped around her neck and shoulders, and would probably have had to come out via c/s anyway even if she hadn't been breech.

The only bummer from the experience is that b/c she was breech and apparently in a funky position inside me, one of her legs was bent awkwardly in utero. So when she came out her left leg was all crooked and looked like a frog leg. Her leg was awkwardly crooked and her left foot was at an incredibly awkward angle. Of course I picked up on that immediately and started freaking out on the table. I feel so horrible b/c the first few hours of recovery all I could think about was the leg and what if it was some kind of physical deformity that couldn't be fixed, etc. I thought the worst and instead of being thrilled to have a beautiful healthy baby, I was so fixated on her physical appearance and abilities. Her leg has gotten a lot better- it looks 80% normal now. We had an orthopedist come in and check her out and although he wasn't a peds orthopedist he thinks that the issue is purely positional- meaning that her leg is the way it is b/c of the way she was positioned in utero as opposed to a deformity in bone growth, etc. We are meeting with a peds orthopedic surgeon in 2 weeks to see if we just wait for the leg to fix itself or if we need to do a brace. But all the peds who've looked at her so far are confident that it's just a positional issue that will right itself. So I'm finally calming down about that!

I'm so glad to be home from the hospital- it was a long 4 days. It took me 24 hrs to finally get enough feeling back in my legs to be able to move. Getting the catheter out and walking for the first time was horrible. At that point I swore I'd never have another child again- knowing I'd most likely have to endure another c/s again! But as the days have progressed I've started feeling better. Today is the first day that I've been able to move a lot without writhing in pain. It's so good to be back home and not have nurses busting into the room every 2-3 hrs.

Aside from some normal baby blues type feelings, things have been going pretty well. Breast feeding seems to be hit or miss. My milk has definitely come in and my boobs are enormous. But Holly and I definitely need to sort out this whole latching thing- sometimes it feels like her tongue and mouth are covered in tiny little pins- all poking into my nipple at the same time. And other times it just feels like a gentle sucking. The lactation consultants were hit or miss at the hospital. When we take Holly to her ped next week I also have a meeting with one of the lcs there so hopefully I can get some more advice. I know it's still so early in this process and that it takes mom and baby time to learn how to do this, but given how painful it can be I want to know everything I can to help fix things sooner rather than later. Although I may feel totally different about this tomorrow if things are horrible tonight :(

In addition to Holly coming home today she also met her furry siblings. The dogs have been really good with her so far. Chance has been amazing! He sits in the room with me when I nurse and is so attentive to her noises. Natty of course wanted to lick her all over when they met. Natty has been kind of distant from me since we got home, I think she thinks I've replaced her :(

I'm hoping tonight won't be too bad-we had one really awful night in the hospital where Holly could just not be consoled. I felt like I was feeding her every hour - I don't think S and I slept more than an hour that night. Since that night, things have been better. I even managed to get about 6 hours of sleep- broken into 2 hour increments- last night.

I know I have so much more to write, so I'll save that for later posts- and I'll try to put up some pics tomorrow.